ha.

sidebar: good morning? fuck that. bad morning. VERY bad MOURNING.

i'm trying. i'm REALLY trying.

i want to get over him. i NEED to get over him.

but nights/mornings like this make it nearly impossible.

i had a dream... wait scratch that... a NIGHTMARE about he and his new girlfriend moving to Texas and getting married (why Texas? idk.) but i'm not gonna lie, it pissed me off and made my insides churn.

i was supposed to be "the one" he'd be with forever. WE were supposed to get married. WE were supposed to raise a family together... not he and this... Maya-girl.

... anyway, i woke up crying and continued to do so for another hour.

why does it hurt so bad?

(to be continued...)

the awkward fall.

boy oh boy.

last night was fisk's homecoming coronation ball and i was hired to take photos. sounds like the beginning of a story that just COULDN'T go wrong. right? WRONG!

the night was going smoothly.

my roommate and i both looked great,

(see?)

when i got to the ball, i took a few photos,

there was lots of dancing and fun times,

and then IT happened.

I FELL! I FELL! I FELL!

and it wasn't just ANY type of fall (yes, there are many types of falls), it was a "i'm gonna walk like i'm the cutest thing moving in this room, but embarrassingly, i tripped and now everyone's looking/pointing/laughing at me" kind of fall... well... actually... i didn't even stay long enough to see reactions. i just ran out of the room holding my head down. lose. i wonder how many people were paying attention.

anyway...

the purpose of this post is to enlighten you on the CORRECT ways to fall in public.

don't make the same mistake as i!

fall position #1: the crazy in love fall.

we've all seen it. the fall that beyonce does in her "crazy in love video".

step 1: fall.

step 2: see body arrangement below.

step 3: proceed to move your neck back and forth, mimicking beyonce's next few moves

*you get bonus points if it happens while the song is playing.

fall position #2: the dramatic fetal fall.

we've seen this one too. the fall where you're not in pain, but you're so embarrassed that you start whining and carrying on because you would rather the general public feel some kind of remorse than laugh and point.

step 1: fall.

step 2: curl up into the fetal position (holding one or both knees).

step 3: whine... yell... cry... what ever suits your current mood... roll with it.

step 4: wait for onlookers to "rescue" you.

step 5: walk away limping and drying your fake tears.

fall position #3: the fall of no return.

*WARNING* only for EXTREME embarrassment situations!

This procedure ensures that no "remember that time..." situations will occur POST fall. your onlookers will all feel too bad and awkward to even bring it up!

step 1: fall.

step 2: lay still and pretend you're unconscious.

step 3: someone will call 9-1-1.

step 4: you will be wheeled off to an ambulance.

step 5: in transit (preferably before paramedics perform cpr, you'll jump and say "i'm okay!"

the end.

try to refrain from falling... but if it happens, you'll never go wrong with one of the aforementioned methods.

--A.E.

p.s. for more photos from the ball, go to my other blog. click HERE.

my dad "liking" my ex's facebook status: "I got it bad... Smh"... when it's about another girl. awkward.

Awkward Nubs for Fingers.

If you know me, you know i've had this monstrous habit of biting my fingernails since i was a child.

it's sort of ridiculous.

i bite them until they hurt. i bite them until they look like weird alien nails. once i even bit the skin off because i had this annoying hangnail, it got infected, my thumb got swollen and pussy, and i had to get some kind of surgical procedure done to me (okay, it really wasn't as serious as it sounds... all they did was slice open my thumb and drain the gooey stuff).

you would have thought i've learned my lesson. right?

WRONG!

i did quit for about two months... three months ago. but then shit happened. my life failed. i got nervous and started biting the little motherfuckers again. they were BEAUTIFUL! i could FINALLY go to the nail shop and not feel like the koreans were gossiping about my nubs. but the nubs are indeed back... and they look scarier than ever. so i'm quitting... again... for real this time... and i'll even keep you guys updated on my progress.

this is how they look now...

give it a month or two and they'll look like this...

just kidding. no way. anyway... wish me luck! peace!

A.E.

Awkward Ex.

Oh fuck. I've turned into the exact monster I've been trying to avoid. The awfully annoying and equally awkward ex girlfriend.

Me and my guy of almost 4 years broke up august/september-ish (it gets kind of blurry... He broke up with me in his mind waaaaay before actually telling me (asshole))... Anyway... I'm not gonna lie. It's been rough. I've experienced a plethora of emotions. Happy. Sad. Angry. Love. Hate. Bitter. Passive... And in 0-10 seconds, sometimes ALL. It's actually pretty pitiful.

If you know me, you know I'm hardcore, I'm bad ass, and most of the time I'm a pretty jubilant, mellow, jovial and cordial character.

So back to the story... most recently, Ive expressed to him how he's not worthy or capable of being my friend after this whole situation... But he insisted that he could be the "friend" that I need him to be... Soooo me being the indecisive fool that I am, I said "okay... Fine"....

So trying not to make this "friendship" awkward... I decide to do normal friend stuff - like comment on his facebook status which reads:
"life is good, life is great ILHSMASLMT"
now being the awesome code-breaker I am, I decided that it meant "I love her so much and she loves me too". So I commented "I'm glad you're happy (mild sarcasm) life IS great!"... A very drama-free message? Right? No. WRONG apparently!!!
Minutes later it was deleted and he sent a message to my inbox saying "ask what it means before you assume"

I don't know what he thought I thought the "code" meant... But I guess he knows me so well that he can read my mind (sarcasm again) idk. Anyway... I left this awkward series of messages to follow:

message 1: oh. my bad. didn't think it was that big of a deal... my bad for assuming.

message 2: what does it mean? if you don't mind me asking... =)

message 3: oh and a new one! ILTLWAMH. you've stumped me on that one! hmmm.... or could it be i love ______ with all my heart? how cute. not assuming... just ASKING. =)

message 4: Just teasing. I hope ur not taking me seriously.... I'm sure it means I love the lord or something.... I'm done now. I'll stop bothering. Peace!

(I know... I'm COMPLETELY insane. don't judge me! I've been through a lot.)

I wish I could have deleted the crap, but tramp ass facebook isn't that advanced yet. Oh well.

It's been a day and he still hasn't responded to one.... Surprise. Actually I don't ever expect for him to answer. That's fine too.

Soooo... There goes our awkward friendship in a nutshell. I INSISTED that I couldn't be friends with him... But wah. He couldn't deal. So I gave in like a little pussy. I bet NOW he's over the friend ordeal... I sure am. I'm embarrassed at myself for sending all those stupid messages for him to look at and get all big headed... And tell his friends "whoa... Look at how dick whipped she is bleh-bleh..."! (okay, he totally wouldn't say anything like that... but just sayin')

Oh well... Life goes on. I'm not speaking to him for at least two weeks! I need to get myself together. No checking his facebook profile every 10 minutes to see what secret status codes I can decipher , no more getting worked up when he sends me texts so that I can get angry all over again, explode and spend the following days depressed, crying, not eating or sleeping and no more listening to stupid love songs that remind me of him. I need to be okay again. And I will not let this so-called "friendship" get in the way... Again....

Well that's all. Until the next awkward moment... Toodles!

A.E.

introduction.

hello.

my name is erin and i'm extremely awkward.

in-class awkwardness. male interaction awkwardness. job awkwardness. shopping awkwardness. telephone awkwardness.

i've experienced all shapes and forms of awkwardness and i'm here to share my most uncomfortable, gawky and sometimes even innapropriate journeys with you all.

A.E.

P.S. i don't like to curse out loud... mainly because it feels awkward and forced. but here, all rules are out of the window! i'm saying EXACTLY what's on my mind! Don't judge me! Mom and Dad, if you find this blog, it's not really me - it's some girl named Savannah using my name as an alias. bye. enjoy!!!